Why are you trying to come back? The one thing I wanted in this world is for you to die a slow and painful death. And I’ve gotten my wish. You have been dying slowly and painfully and I couldn’t care less that you are dying.

However, I realized in my rage that I need to know what you are dying from because even though I cut every last tie I had from you, I still share your genetic makeup. You are technically my biological father, but you’re nothing more than the man the stole my innocence and destroyed my life.

You have been looking for me, I haven’t moved in 16 years… So you reach out to my cousin’s mother to try to find me. Fine you have my attention, only for two reasons. 1. I need to know what you’re dying from and if its hereditary and 2. Why? I want you to own up to what you did and explain yourself, you selfish son of a bitch.

However, I feel like there will be fine print to read because with you, nothing is simple. I want my answers I deserve them. You took from me something I’ll never get back, and I’m “your daughter” you should at least answer for what you’ve done. Once you have, if you do, maybe my nightmares will go away once again and I can have my life back.

You will never be my father, my dad died almost two years ago. And he was the greatest dad ever. I’ve told you off so many times, but you don’t listen. I wonder if in your dying days you’ve come to realize I hate you. I was supposed to be able to trust you, and you burned that. The only satisfaction I have is knowing you’re dying slowly and I can only hope painfully, and its taken a toll on you. I have tried to forgive you but I can’t, and knowing I’ll have to see you soon is causing inner turmoil, but I’ll get through this, because I was raised by the two best parents a girl could ask for, and they’ve taught me to be strong.

P.S. I hope you rot in HELL and the devil tortures you. But justice is being served to you, you dying bastard.

Struggling everyday,
How can this be normal?
Past haunting and not leaving me alone.
Takes its place front and center.

Being followed home from work,
Having my life threatened,
My coworker sending someone to do what happened,
None of it is normal.
However it has become something I don’t worry about for its consistency.

I need to get away from this “normalcy”
Find my way back to what is actually acceptable.
Not having to worry,
Feeling that no one needs to worry because I’m not someone to worry about.

I am worth something!
I am human,
Flaws shown straight through,
Thanks for helping me realize things I need to do.