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Emotional rant 9.7/8.11
I really dislike crying myself to sleep… But tonight that’s how it’s going…
Don’t say “where and when” then when I reply, you stop answering. If you can’t do it.. Just fucking say so. I am absolutely frustrated.. I can’t even put it into words..
All I wanted was to see you, and talk… I don’t ask for much I really don’t. And if its because of the shit that was said yesterday… I couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to.. Because I only want you!
Every time I cry it starts raining…
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As tears fall down my face I wipe them away
hoping that maybe it will work in someway.
For now I cry in the pitch black of the night
So no one will see the tears of sadness because I feel alone.
— Lokelani Ellsworth
When will I finally be able to see you? Is what I’ve asked myself for at least 6 months. Unfortunately, I now have my answer.. Most likely never. Our schedules clash worse than before. I miss you more than I care to admit, but I guess I just admitted it, didn’t I?
The greatest I could have ever met, sent me these. I asked for a sunset on the water, he wasn’t able too so he sent me a sunrise and the moon over the ocean while he was on vacation. He’s never ceases to amaze me.
Today was my 1st day off in a week, figured it would be smooth sailing for the most part. Boy was I wrong. Had to go to a wake for one of my class mates in high school who passes way to early. If that wasn’t rough enough one of my best friends tried committing suicide today. It’s been an emotionally draining day.
Now for the time that’s left I have to get it all out because I have work 730am-11pm tomorrow. I can’t wait to go to work so I can help the kids and avoid what’s going on in my life for the time being. Distractions from the “real world” will be nice. Helping these kids at work is what keeps my hopes up for a better day and week.
As for now it’s time for bed, going to try and get some sleep and start tomorrow fresh. Hope everything will be okay with my friend and may Wayne rest in peace while riding on the dragons he always wanted to be on after life.
I got a Buffett between my legs, and it’s all you can eat
— Lokelani Ellsworth
The world hates me…
Every fucking time. I swear there’s always something. Always!! Fuck you world seriously fuck you. Even though it was a maybe I was still hoping… Why do I bother? Wishing and hoping to see you is like wish the doe doe bird wasn’t extinct. I know in the back of my mind something’s going to come up no matter what… and then I end up sad or disappointed. So I give up! I’m coming to the realization that seeing you is nearly impossible and even if you do one day say you’re coming I won’t believe it until you’re at my door. The kicker? It isn’t even your fault, things legitimately happen, not planned in the least, and its not always just you, shit happens on my half too at the most inconvenient times. so I can’t even be mad… Seems like the world is against me seeing you, so heres my towel its getting thrown in. What a coincidence it’s “Towel Day”! 😕
If you were having a bad day, here are some kittens in a bathtub.
never have I ever seen kittens calmly swimming in water
Kittens!! Swimming.. Say what? Lol
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