Tempting a sharpened fate
Everything starts spinning out of control as it has before,
You want to ask for help but you just hide from all you see.
The memories of the cold blade gliding across the skin,
Slice of relief when will it begin?
You wait and ponder of the decision you’re about to make,
Wonder if it’s wrong or if it’s fate.
You decide to put the blade down
Remembering the good you have seen since the last time…
You’ve stopped once before.
You didn’t give in!
Today will be no different because the blade will never win!
Truth: I’m a huge sap, and I secretly watch love stories..
Fact: I’ll deny it with every last breath in my body.
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Resilience throughout Life…
Lately life has been really great, minus some bad days here or there… It truly baffles me that I have a hard time accepting positive things going on.. I’ve always had good moments followed by nightmares that have shadowed most of my life. I’m still looking over my shoulder waiting for the nightmare to come back… Because I’ve never had a break from pushing back, when the world knocks me on my ass…
When do I stop expecting things to fall apart and accept the fact good things are happening? I suppose I should recondition my way of thinking, but that’s easier said than done.
I’ve been fighting for so long, I don’t know what a break is.. After 25 years of pushing through life because it was the only way to not break down, being able to stop pushing for even a moment is foreign. I am resilient and it’s a characteristic I never want to lose. Now it’s time to practice acceptance and optimism … If the shadow does return, I better have my batteries for my flashlight and get ready push back but only when the time comes.
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Saw this and totally thought of freshmen year of college! Thanks to love bug
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Emotional rant 9.7/8.11
I really dislike crying myself to sleep… But tonight that’s how it’s going…
Don’t say “where and when” then when I reply, you stop answering. If you can’t do it.. Just fucking say so. I am absolutely frustrated.. I can’t even put it into words..
All I wanted was to see you, and talk… I don’t ask for much I really don’t. And if its because of the shit that was said yesterday… I couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to.. Because I only want you!
Every time I cry it starts raining…
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As tears fall down my face I wipe them away
hoping that maybe it will work in someway.
For now I cry in the pitch black of the night
So no one will see the tears of sadness because I feel alone.
— Lokelani Ellsworth