If you were having a bad day, here are some kittens in a bathtub.
never have I ever seen kittens calmly swimming in water
Kittens!! Swimming.. Say what? Lol
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I hate getting text messages from people I don’t know. And if you do know me, you know I swear and cuss like a trucker. Haha smh just say who you are.. It’s simple hi I’m blah blah. And it would be squashed. The end.
For a moment I wish you could share my feelings.
That there words to describe the happiness you have brought me.
There are no words to accurately depict how you make me feel…
Because its as simple as you make me feel…
After having been emotionless for a time longer than I care to admit,
You’ve helped me feel emotions I thought would just be a memory of the past,
And for that there are no words…
— Lokelani Ellsworth
Thursday.. I have a new doctor to go see.. In Boston a specialist for infertility.. He’s my new gyno, and I’m absolutely terrified to go. His specialty is infertility, not like I’m trying to have kids now, but already knowing I had 25% or less chance of having kids ever because of PCOS.. The only thing I had going for me is that I didn’t have cysts.. Now that I have those lovely things, wonder what my chances will be now? It’s a scary to think you’ll never have the ability to have children. I am female, you’re told from a young age you’re eventually supposed to grow up get married and have kids of your own.. How do women handle being told its impossible? I have a 25% chance… But who knows if that has changed. Guess I might have answers in the coming months. But maybe I shouldn’t worry over things I know nothing about.. Right?
Late night confession
I cry most night, I guess I’m not a robot. I get lonely and sad the most at night but most of the time I’m fine. Yet there are night when I just can’t help it and I begin weeping then bursting into tears. I pretend everything fine or okay, I smile through the days and at night I take off my mask and let my emotions out.
Sometimes it’s because I miss my dad, or I had a bad day. Tonight it’s because I’m frustrated with the fact there’s little to no communication going on aside from photo’s, the fact have seen you since December as well as how much I kills me I still haven’t had a chance to explain in person what the hell happened a few months ago.
I miss listening to your heart beat, the hugs that felt like I was safe, the kisses that took my breath away, the sound of your voice, the smile that would make me get butterflies.. More than anything I just miss you. Yet I can’t say this because I am far to scared because I don’t want to be venerable. However in a way I guess I’d rather hear from you through little quirky picture messages then not at all.
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Why is it that the richest people always seem to be angry or grumpy and the poorest of people always seem to be smiling or hopeful?
Maybe it’s true money can’t buy happiness, and happiness isn’t determined by what you have but what you’re thankful for.
Just a random thought..